After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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