I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Less talking, more tequila
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
