Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
