Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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