what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize