you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
