just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize