you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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