i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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