You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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