All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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