WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.