Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4314) Bad night (811)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.

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  (850): some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face. http://tfl.nu/tn6y
  Replies (12) Good night (5133) Bad night (1745)
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  (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  (925): Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here. http://tfl.nu/dbsi
  Replies (9) Good night (3556) Bad night (979)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

  (518): View more from New York

  It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

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  (585): Why was I handcuffed to the roof? (518): It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly http://tfl.nu/nk88
  Replies (27) Good night (9349) Bad night (1272)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  this is really not the time to pretend we have morals

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  (704): this is really not the time to pretend we have morals http://tfl.nu/j8ot
  Replies (10) Good night (4888) Bad night (976)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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  (210): I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qvgk
  Replies (143) Good night (2301) Bad night (50433)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

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  (410): she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night. http://tfl.nu/m7fi
  Replies (5) Good night (2517) Bad night (1044)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.

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  (862): Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons. http://tfl.nu/bh45
  Replies (16) Good night (2563) Bad night (863)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.

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  (360): It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls. http://tfl.nu/eao3
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (720)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.

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  (575): Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut. http://tfl.nu/7s27
  Replies (8) Good night (843) Bad night (506)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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  (503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d
  Replies (9) Good night (1638) Bad night (378)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes

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  (780): Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes http://tfl.nu/7wy7
  Replies (6) Good night (496) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.

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  (616): Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me. http://tfl.nu/rp8b
  Replies (5) Good night (826) Bad night (289)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS

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  (608): WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS http://tfl.nu/ztcl
  Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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  (425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (248)

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