She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.