Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
