i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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