So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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