Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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