her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ketchup is God's man juice
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
