The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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