Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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