I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
