Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize