if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
