im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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