Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
