then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
