It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
A+ Viking dick
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
