I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
