I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
