There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize