Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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