so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you will always have a special place in my vag
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
