this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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