Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if only i could text you this smell
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize