I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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