I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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