Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
