you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
