i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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