I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
