Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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