enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
