you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
