I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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