Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
