Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woke up backwards on a recliner
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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