Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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