therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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