You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
