It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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