i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My breasts were aching with rage.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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