I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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