dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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