if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
