Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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