I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
