I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
